Tuesday, January 29, 2008


I'm dreaming of work again.

And not of beautfiful designer-ly things, no. I'm not having superior dreams wherein I solve the day's tussle sound in dreamland, waking up aching to get to a computer, to change colors, arrange layout, sketch in the perfect image . . .

No, these are anxiety dreams. Dreams of disappointment and betrayal. Dreams of sadness and loss.

I hate those dreams. EVen more now as I ought to be able to revel in dreams of small tiny hands in mine, and lullabyes and soft, beautiful worthwhile things and beings.

Not this. Not something so trivial, so meaningless.

I want to light the darkness.

I'm just not sure how.


Skye said...

Maybe it's not about 'conquer' right now; maybe it's about 'accept'.

Just a thought.

~m said...

How do you know me so well, somehow? :)

And you're right, that's exactly what it is. It's just so very hard for me to put down the sword sometimes. Nothing bothers me more than injustice. Ugh.

But, yes, laying it down and taking a few breaths will probably make all the difference in the world. . .

Leslie said...

I am hormonal and I really miss you :)
Yes, I am in that stage...