Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Joe's First Trip to NYC (also named - Yay! Joe's Moving to NYC! or, alternately, the entry I gush about Joe and he decides to never talk to me again)

Is that second title too pushy? I can't tell . . . .

So, Joe came to visit us this past weekend, and all it took was for him to break his "lifelong" boycott of our home city and some threatening that Katy and I would COME GET HIM if he didn't. And it was such fun, I cannot even tell you. We were all SO HAPPY to have him here.

Now, we all have our lives and adventures, and Joe's story isn't mine to tell. What is mine to say, however, is that over the past few months I've watched in awe as he's been slowly sifting through his life and making it better. He's been making g a lot of hard decisions and dealing with a lot of crap - and honestly? It makes me ever so proud of him - while admiring the pants off him. (And I would, literally admire the pants off of him, only he's family - and well, that's just wrong. Though it's important, now that find myself on a tangent that the girls at my work would all admire the pants straight off of him, so there you go. Proof all at once of my love for my husband and the hotness of Joe. Awesome tangent over.)

But needless to say, Sam and I have been struggling this far away. We have wanted to do something awesome for Joe, and weren't sure what. And then one night, late and a little tipsy at our neighborhood bar, The Gaf - Katy, Sam and I decided it was time we *saw* Joe. And true to form for all of us, we concocted a plan and made it happen, and I couldn't be more proud of us.

'Cause before you could say "Bob's your Uncle!" (and why would you, really?) Joe was on a plane eating warm chocolate chip cookies and flying o'er Manhattan.

I have to interject here for a second and say Sam and I were so very excited it was on the verge of pathetic. We met after work and immediately jumped in a cab in the middle or rush hour to make sure we got to the airport to meet Joe in time. We were like children, hopping up and down in baggage claim looking to see if he was walking toward us. It was only later we thought of making a big sign that said "Welcome! Joe! Hagen!" - next time. It's also important to note we NEVER meet people at the airport. The list is very short of who that little honor goes to: Kate, Little Charlie, Jamie and Joe. Ha. One down, three to go.

ANYway, seeing Joe and Sam together makes me happy. There's always lots of laughter and joking and teasing. But it's something else, too. I know there's nothing they wouldn't do for each other and that's just plain as day when they're in each other's company. I feel lucky to have been included.

And, well. I love me some Joseph J. Always have. In our group of mutual friends, I always saw him as a sort of kindred spirit. He's my fellow designer. My fellow visual artist. He's the one I could banter endlessly about visual communication - what was good, what wasn't. Or bitch endlessly of the ignorance of pushy, narrow-minded clients. . . above and beyond that, though, I've always found it easy to talk to Joe. He's always honest with you, always upfront. And if you want to know what he thinks, he doesn't shirk from telling you.

He's not just a dreamer, he's a doer. And that's so very hard to find. He's got plans, that one. And listening to him talk about what's important to him, what he wants - well, there's no doubt he's going to make it happen. Right. And well. And when it does happen because he's put so much thought into it, it will be even better than I think even he can imagine.

I can't wait to see it.

But I'm blathering on. I guess I feel the need to. Joe entered my life in a weird place. Right when I lived far away, and we were just friends of friends. And, while over the years, we started being friends the two of us - I've never quite said to him how much I truly feel ever so lucky to have him around. When I think about maybe someday leaving this crazy city-life and heading west - part of me wants very desperately to have Joe playing catch with my son or daughter on a regular basis. Teaching them about what he thinks of Klimt and how to play dungeons and dragons baseball all in one conversation.

Being around so they can see what great, kind, kickass family they have.

So yeah. Stuff I think about.

And our weekend! Oh, the fun! There was museum wandering, sidewalk hoofing, ferry riding - and of course, ice cream eating and beer drinking. And some gin. And shots. And Nightmare Before Christmas in 3-D. And birthday cake.

It. Was. Good. Times.

The pics will have to come in batches - more to come in the next few days.

Monday, October 22, 2007

My Weekend

To come - one really sappy post on how much I love Joe Hagen, and how glad I am that the world seemed fit to not just put him in my life - but make him family.

Oh, and a photo montage centered around the fact that if Sam and Joe weren't related they'd make a very cute couple.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

good day at work!

Company-wide email that went out yesterday:

"I want to thank everyone who has worked on (insert brand) on the digital and promotion side in the past year. This business started as a simple digital promotion with a very small budget. Without all the excellent and hard work that has been done over the years, we never would have been trusted to execute a signature website on a national scale. The brand too should be thanked for realizing that the internet has become an essential part of everyone's life and for committing the dollars to meet them there.

I also want to especially thank Misty Bell for her commitment to the brand and the excellent quality of her work. She has been the central creative on this account with not only the Big Idea, but all the small ones too. "

Months, people. Months. It feels so good to get this far and not only have it be successful, but appreciated. We're only half way there (now I'm designing, after all the strategy and thinking!). But I know it will go well.

Yay. Yay me! It feels good.

(P.S. I also have a meeting next week with Billy from MelPlace next week. The sheer joy and madness this is causing in our office is awesomely hilarious. This week? I love my job.)

Well, At Least I Went

It was a great day at work and everything seemed prime for a good run. I had forgotten, however, that those aches in my joints only get worse when I run on them. Stupid, Fobro. I kept at it tho, and while I didn't do my greatest workout ever, I feel trumphant I didn't give up. I did, however, go home, sit on the couch and cry from being sore.

But that's okay. I'll do it again tomorrow, and maybe even do it better.

Friday, October 12, 2007

New Hair!

May, Jasmin - this post is just for you. :)

side view:

back (this is where the purple-ey stuff is most):

top view:

God bless Apple's PhotoBooth app.

Robb *with 2 Bs* Is Dying My Hair!

Robb *with 2 Bs* Is Dying My Hair!

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Better Late than Never, I suppose

So my friend Matt encouraged me to write here about what was bothering me of late (this was weeks? a month? ago, but I wanted to answer honestly and, well, that took some time and thought) and so I am. Now. So long after relevance it probably is no longer a concern or worth sharing. But, well. Here I am.

And I begin with the place I am now, have been in the past, and more likely will be in the future - until I screw my courage and figure out myself.

(I'm greatly looking forward to that day - the "screwing courage", though, seems to hold me up a bit)

See, I'm not sure what I want from my life. How to navigate it, how best even to live it. This past year I've made a concentrated effort to do better, feel better and I feel like in some areas I'm making true progress. I'm healthier - that's for sure. I don’t miss ice cream QUITE as much as I used to and exercise has gotten to be something I actually miss when I don’t do it.

Go figure.

I'm reading good books more regularly and lately I've been doing a lot of studying of art. Reading about it historically, looking at it currently and am slowly finding myself inspired to step timidly back in that great, cold lake.

I'm even doing better at trying things that scare me. (And believe you me when I say that some of those things are pretty silly and weird and I might be the only one that finds them a challenge - but look, that fancy treadmill at the gym? The one that all the gazelle-like runners use? The one that has all the crazy settings and tells you how far and fast and changes such things on display with a mere psychic push?! Yeah, I ran on it. So what. See? These are the things. Ha. And why I'll continue to keep them all pretty much to myself.)

So yeah, yay and good. Progress and wonder. Woo-hoo.

But here's the thing. There's this monster in the room I get really good at ignoring. I step over him, I dust around him, I even manage to not hear when he yells at me. I am very zen about it all. Except for the part where he consumes an average of 50 hours of my week. Over and over and over again. And I just don’t know what to do with him.

Make him my friend? Kick him out?


Yeah, my job,. My career at this point, if you will. If you want to get fancy, which if course I do as I love the fanciness. Oh, yes.

And it's not like it sucks. Or I suck. Or any of that. It's just, well, something's missing. Has been from the start. And lately I think I figured out what it is - what it's been this whole time.

I never really chose what I do. I fell into it. I lucked out. I took a job that was "just for now" and developed a really killer skill set. And then I got good at it.

Real good.

And every time I looked around it was more challenging and exciting and, well, cool. I get to do fun things and work on awesome stuff. . . and the people? Jesus Christ, the people ROCK. I've fallen in to some of the best teams ever. Which - you know - makes all the difference.

And I guess what I'm saying is I got lucky. I found something I could make good money at and truly enjoy. And you'd think that would be enough, right? But part of me still has hold of that dream born of beautiful books, galleries and the smell of turpenoid.

Part of me is still that young girl, arm tucked around her paintbox, dreaming of how she's going to change the world with her stories.

Or, more accurately now, the young woman who looked around her at the house and new convertible and fun, fanciful carefree life and said "This. Is. Not. Enough." And sold her belongings, put the rest in storage and moved alone to her Big Dream City.

I don’t know what to do with her. How to handle her. We're like a couple, broken up long ago and yet still friends. Easy to talk about all the unimportant things, still a bit wary of the big topics.

So, lately, we've just been sitting together. And, right now, I think that's what I need. To sit with her, get to know her again. Acquaint her with who I am. See how best we can get along. I know we can, that we will. But it's taking some navigating.

Some thought. Some evaluation of my life that's not always comfortable.

But in the end, will be worth it.

I believe that. I do. I have to.

Monday, October 08, 2007

Real Post Tomorrow - Promise!

Mr. Lance Armstrong tod me via my 'pod tonight he's proud of me and my 15 minute run. Ha. So there, gazelle-like lady next to me on the treadmill tonight. :)

Friday, October 05, 2007

Running Running Running

Well, and walking - I'm doing Intervals . . .

Because I can't get nikeplus.com to work on my work machine:

Distance: 3.01 mi
Time: 47:19
Calories: 401

Number of Workouts: 3
Fartherst Workout: 3.01 mi
Total Distance: 6.94 mi
Total Time; 1.8 hours
Calories: 674

Hoepfully, over the weeks it'll get better. But now, I'm just happy it's consistent. :)

Wednesday, October 03, 2007


" . . .Allons! the road is before us!
It is safe—I have tried it—my own feet have tried it well.

Allons! be not detain’d!
Let the paper remain on the desk unwritten, and the book on the shelf unopen’d!
Let the tools remain in the workshop! let the money remain unearn’d!
Let the school stand! mind not the cry of the teacher!
Let the preacher preach in his pulpit! let the lawyer plead in the court, and the judge expound the law.

Mon enfant! I give you my hand!
I give you my love, more precious than money,
I give you myself, before preaching or law;
Will you give me yourself? will you come travel with me?
Shall we stick by each other as long as we live? . . ."

Monday, October 01, 2007


Thirty-three years.

It feels like a good omen, three being my favorite number. But then, lately I've felt like a lot of things are good omens. Good things to come. Good things on the horizon. Good on its way.

And, well, for the first time in my life I'm looking forward to these things, as ethereal as they are, instead of waiting for the celiing to cave in before they get here. It's been my habit - something I saw as caution, preparedness, being at the ready: but it's really none of that.

It's just simply fear.

And while I've taken some chances in my life, and big ones at that - I've never felt entirely comfortable with good things. I have always felt I couldn't possibly deserve them, or that someone else needed them more. Earned them more. Could do more with them. No matter what the "them" is.

But recently I've slowly been changing things. Or, rather, taking control of them. Figuring out what I want and finding ways to get there. Oh, it's not all peaches and cream. I don't get everything I want - nor should I. But I am learning to accept things - the good things without feeling bad about them. WIthout negating them or myself. The bad things, too, seeign their purpose and lettign them go. Not hanging on, not dwelling. Not lettign them keep me from enjoying what's funa nd right about my life.

And it's probably the most important thing I've learned this year, my thirty-second: that good things happen when you work for them (and sometimes when you don't); and it's okay. It's okay to smile and enjoy them. To relish in them.

In figuring this out, I've also come to revisit some of the good things in my life I lost a bit, and weed out the bad. That's where I'm at now. Tending to the happiness, I guess. Reaching out and asking forgiveness from the good things I maybe didn't cherish properly, and saying goodbye to some of the bad stuff that only encouraged negative behaviour.

It's hard, and it's a long on-going process, but it will work out in the end. Meanwhile, I plan to spend this coming year laughing a lot and trusting myself more.

And being thankful. Every. Single. Day. That I have such an abundant amount of happiness to tend to.

Run #2

I've officially completed 2 runs, totaling 3.92 miles.

Slowly but surely . . . . I'm developing new habits.