Wednesday, April 29, 2009


Still sick. But as always, when she's not passed out on my chest, she's nothing but smiles and songs. We're so lucky. Oh, and just to be clear - it's not the swine flu. But jokes it might be will make me rageful. Don't test it.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

being a mom

Sometimes means learning to be very still ...

Sunday, April 26, 2009


My dearest friend,

Congratulations. You've been a mom for a whole year now. You have made it. More than survived it. I know I am supposed to be wishing Adaela a Happy Birthday (and I do, with much love - so VERY much love, in fact) but I think today is a good day to recognize you, too.

A year ago your life change irrevocably. Of course, it had already begun changing - but this. This was when it became truly real - all those hopes and worries and planning-fors. On this day you became a mother. And all that means. I didn't realize, really, what this meant until a few months later.

It was then I realized what had truly happened and I became someone who did not just feel incredibly blessed to be your friend - but was absolutely, dumbfoundedly in awe of you. You have entered the world of motherhood with such grace. I don't get to see you with Adaela often, but when I have there is no question who her mama is. You can see the tie between you as if it were a ribbon running through the air. You so effortlessly pull her toward you, so easily hold her. She seems to be almost a part of you, which of course she is. But I don't have to be there to know this is always true. Your voice sings with it. Your decisions and actions play it out for all to acknowledge. Your heart has grown a few sizes. :)

It's been a crazy year of trips and hips, of daycare and no care, of family and cousins and friends and balls. You have had your share of scary, nervous and crazy moments - but you seem to have the innate ability to power through them. To always put her first. To be able to take that deep breath and keep moving forward ...endlessly forward.

I don't know how to put the woman who has become such a wonderful mother into the proper words for you. So that you can see her, clearly. For you to truly be proud of her, the way I am.

I want so much for you to know how many times I draw strength from your example. How many times, near tears and exhausted, I have stood up to take that first step forward knowing that is what you would do, that it was the right thing to do. That I never have to be alone doing it.

I know this is rambling and the right words and phrases fail me terribly. I'm struggling and feel like I'm failing horrible at this so I'll end now.

Just, well, Happy First Anniversary of Being a Mother.

You've done so well. She's living proof. Proof of love. Of patience. Of kindness. Take just a second tomorrow to relish that. To take a small amount of credit for it. A large one, if you can bring yourself to.

And know that this mom, so far north - is glad she's found a guiding star in the south.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

250 days

... since this little rockstar joined us. I've never been more happy. Being a groupie is AWESOME.

Monday, April 20, 2009

she's so amazing

....even with a crazy cold, goopy eyes and fluid in her ears she's still the most lovely, joyous creature I've ever seen.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Wednesday, April 08, 2009


My girl (again, forgive my tardiness),

Eight months. We waited nine for you to get here, how is it possible you've already been with us that long? But, oh - I look at you and it feels as if it should have been longer by now. You have grown so. You are blossoming into the most wonderful, most gracious, most empathetic child; who is hopelessly willful and stubborn and ornery as well.

You have the most hilarious tendencies now - the way you tilt your head when ask where my sweetie girl is.... the way you squint your eyes into half moons of joy when you get caught doing something you're to supposed to.... but my favorite, my absolute FAVORITE is how you clap your hand with sheer joy and raise your arms in a 'hooray!" when you hear your favorite music or we sing together.

Oh, the singing. I have known since your first cry that your voice might be the sweetest sound I might ever hear - but now you have toped yourself. That sound, that joyous slight precious sound of your "la-la's" as you raise your little voice to melody. Oh, my. Just the thought now as I type has me smiling ear to ear.

Of course, you did have a rough spell there. A week where you just did.not.sleep. You were sick, and maybe teething (though Daddy and I hesitate to say that as we've been saying it since November and you've yet to sprout a chomper). And you just refused to lay down and rest. And it seemed even at night sleeping was hard for you. You spent quite a few nights up from 2:30am to 5, bouncing you and singing to you and just in general trying to comfort you. Oh, your tears are your Daddy's and my kryptonite. Nothing wakes us up quicker then your little whimper, or worse a full out cry.

But we got through. We always do. I truly believe the three of us can do anything.

But more importantly, this was the month of you learning to hold yourself up and walk along the couch, of you and I on the floor as you struggled to scooch across the rug. The month of songs and singing and you regularly calling for mommmma and dada. And raspberries! Oh, you love to give (and recieve) raspberries. Or just spit one out in response to any number of situations. It has been a month of singing and dancing and a lot of "hoorahs!"

Just this week you've started tilting your head with a sweet smile across your face in response to "where's my sweetie girl?" Oh, my love. You have captured our hearts even more, and I didn't think this was possible. Watching you come into your own, find your voice - learn to really communicate with the world around you.... well. I feel blessed to be a part of it all.

I love you my darling, daring girl. With every day that passes, I just find more reasons to. To hold you. To laugh with you. To walk with you, my fingers grasped tightly in your own.

Please know every single moment since you've been here with us has been a gift, and I can't wait for all the moments to come.

your mama

Monday, April 06, 2009

don't be fooled...

...she's hatching world domination plans.

Sunday, April 05, 2009

its just me & Maire today

And the weather's BEAUTIFUL. We're having the exact kind of day that darling face looks like we're having. Sunday's are AWESOME!

Friday, April 03, 2009

playin' all day

Wears a girl out...


Yesterday was the longest I'd been without her. Today we're just hanging out while it thunders & rains outside. My cheeks hurt from laughing.