How has she gotten so big?

September 4, 2008

June 13, 2009

Time is moving perilously fast. Though I no longer feel the sadness I used to at that realization. Oh sure, I would desperately love to slow it all down - have more time; have nothing to do but spend each precious second with her. Playing, laughing - even the hard times when she's tired or doesn't feel good.

But something she has given me - the ultimate gift she has given me, is the ability to sit down and just be. To be present. To be with her, and no where else. Not analyzing yesterday, not being anxious about tomorrow... just enjoying her.

It's impossible not to. She changes each second. She's constantly learning, constantly doing something new. I feel like each day, each moment is somehow - inexplicably, unbelievably, miraculously - better than the last.

I don't know what the future holds for us, but I do know it will be filled with pure, unadulterated happiness.

Sleeping Beauty

She's asleep behind me on the couch. We played hard tonight - I gave her a bath by myself for only the second time in her short life, if you can believe it. Then we played the game where we both laugh and whomever gets too tired to keep giggling first loses. . .

And now, she lies prone - limbs stretched to the four winds - behind me. She takes up the whole couch now, no room for me to curl behind. But that's okay. I like sitting here, watching her sleep. Wondering what her dreams are made of; enjoying the small smiles that spread slowly across her face. She laughed just a few minutes ago. I'd give anything to know what was bringing her such dreamland joy.

Oh, my darling daring girl. I promise that to you - I promise you joy. I promise that no mater what comes for us in the years ahead, we will live joyfully. What we gain, what we lose - it shall not matter. There will always be dance parties and laughing games and smiles in sleep.

I promise to build a world around you that is safe and peaceful - and above all, joyous.

Just like the world you've given me.

I miss this face...

...especially much today. I feel like lately we've turned this corner where she's shining through so brightly it's almost blinding. I feel awful missing even seconds of that - it's such a gift.

our lil straphanger

.... developed another mode of transportation today... FIRST STEPS!!

Dad-Dad's day

Yesterday was father's day. A first immediate celebration in our little household. I wanted desperately to make it special. You see, watching Sam over thee last months has, in many ways, shown me exactly what being a good parent is.

He is patient and kind of course. But he is funny and goofy and utterly himself. Often, looking at him and Samaire together - it seems as if this whole parenthood thing was just God giving him a new best friend.





They are compadres, those two and have been from the very start. As ornery and stubborn as each other. As hilarious and ridiculous.


I see so much of him in her. Way past just her eyes and her coloring. She laughs like him. She's got a million looks that all say she's about to do something you probably won't like but she's doing it anyway - just like him. :)


I don't know how to explain to you what an amazingly wonderful father he is. I could tell you about how he stayed up Maire's first night - all night - so I could sleep and because she didn't want to - just talking and singing and dancing with her. Welcoming her to the world, to our lives.


I could tell you I didn't' change a diaper until she was 16 days old.

Or that I've felt this immediate and terrible need to never let her out of my sight since she was born - and how he's not only been patient with me about that, but protected it fiercely.

How he's watched tense games in absolute silence so she would sleep just ten-more-minutes. . . or how he now knows the words to so many Sesame Street songs it's insane. (And he does a killer impression of Ernie's laugh.)

But I think the number one thing is, see, she feels safe with him. When she's scared or tired or in a weird place - her Daddy's arms are where she wants to be. The world coudl be falling apart around her and she would be absolutely content - as long as her Daddy was right there with her.



You can see in her face when she looks for him (first thing every morning) or how her hands reach up to him (every second she has that she has space to walk) how much she loves him.

It glows. It surrounds her. He's her very best friend - and I couldn't be happier or more excited about that.


My Love, you are such a kick ass, awesome, fantastic father. You make me a better mama every day. You've taught me to roll with the punches, to be slightly less neurotic (we can only expect so much :) ) - but most of all you've taught me to trust myself. To trust us and our little family.

I hope you had a wonderful father's day. You deserve the best. Maire and I are blessed the world over to have you. I hope every day you feel how much we love you and how absolutely grateful we are for all you do for us every single day. You deserve a month of Father's days. Years.

I can't wait for all that's to follow.

We love you, Dad-Dad. More than words will ever be able to say.

seriously, Mets

You'd better win.

Central Park Cures All

no more eye gunkies

After a horrid morning, she's finally getting some rest. She's was strapped down and had a metal poker & a syringe put in both eyes. She was brave and strong. And, now, finally, she's getting some much needed sleep. Oh, how I love my darling, daring girl.

I dare you

to find a better way to spend a glorious summer afternoon then hanging out with brilliant friends in Central Park..... ..... hoola-hooping.

Man, is this kid lucky.

life is good