Monday, November 10, 2008


Dear Samaire,

There's been a lot of talk lately about human rights. Who gets them, mostly. A lot of states have been voting against gay marriage - that's the issue, really. Stirring everybody up. Getting everybody all up in arms.

And, well, some day I'll explain to you why some people find it so offensive. I'll try, at least. And not every body finds it offensive - it's just there are people who believe being gay is wrong. And, this is where I falter - it's hard for me to understand. But those people are out there, and dare say I love some of them dearly. We just disagree on this issue.

But aside from all this, because there's a lot there in that above paragraph that you'll need explaining, I know - I'm being pretty obtuse .... ASIDE FROM THIS, it has me thinking. Specifically on how you'll be raised. How you won't be mainstream in many ways. How this decision we've made, your dad and I, will not always be easy for you.

Daddy refers to us already as his witches. We went out Saturday morning and he held an umbrella over us, joking it was okay if he got wet - we were the ones that would melt. And I smiled and held you tighter under his awning.

I can't wait until you're old enough that we can dress as witches together, striped stockings and all, for Samhain. For you to know it's our new year - a celebration of what's come to pass and a way to look forward. That it's more than candy and costumes and tricks.

There's a lot I look forward to. Explaining the magic inside each human being. The treasure of the stars and sun and wind. I know your daddy will relish teaching you the sacred of the natural; the ever-cycling of life, our part in it. How to be a steward and not a mindless consumer.

I look forward to cooking with you - teaching you the purpose of specific herbs in meals, how certain foods come at certain times of year. How to celebrate with them. How to make each action purposeful and hopeful. How living consciously is our prayer.

But I also know that you will run into people who will not value how we're teaching you to live. Who will devalue you due to the things we have taught you. I hope that we'll do a good enough job this will not shake you. And we won't be alone - oh, no. We'll teach you about how every one else lives too. You and Adaela will someday celebrate Christmas and she'll tell you her story and Aunt Leslie and Uncle Andy will be able to answer any question you have I falter on. Aunt Sarah and Uncle Phil, Aunt Jamie and Uncle Ryan - your dad and I have a lot of amazingly wonderful friends. All of whom will help you define your place in this world. How best to walk through it. They will all, I know in my heart, shine light on the road you choose to travel.

Nonetheless, these conversations swirling now about who has right to what. Who is allowed what. What words mean, what the government can control. The ever-blurred line between church and state . . . it has me thinking.

I'm hoping when you're older it's all better, though I know this world will never be perfect. I'm hoping that your dad and I, by surrounding you with various points of view - by teaching you respect and diligence, honor and ethics, that we will above all teach you tolerance.

I know there will be a time when perhaps you will wish your family was more like every body else's. But I'm hoping time will show you we are. That a family - regardless of the details, is a group of people gathered for the betterment of themselves and their community through love. We all deserve that.

That is what matters - throughout all of this. Love.

Sometimes it's hard to remember. Sometimes it's hard to do. But all the time, it's what ultimately matters.

Oh, small one. It is with love; great, astonishing, overwhelming love, I shall send you into the world someday.

In hopes you will share the same.


SS said...

PS Squirms, you'll hear another version of this from me, where I call everyone who seeks to deny people equal rights "douche bags" and then go off on a spiel that ends in mass carnage. Sooooooo, listen to your mom, she's a much better person than I.

Smooches to my witches, I heart you both.

Rachel said...

wow! Great post and I can say I think more ppl should raise kids like your planning! WTG!