7 years ago
Thursday, August 14, 2008
I still can't believe you're here. That you're real. When I look down at you I feel so very blessed, and I know that all those months of waiting - and the years before of hoping were absolutely worth it.
I love you so much. More than I ever thought was possible. Last night, I woke up in the quiet darkness with you on one side fast asleep and your Daddy on the other, his hand over my waist and resting on your belly. The sheer perfection of this all brought tears to my eyes.
I have always felt that me and your Daddy had it perfect. What I know now is somehow what was unbelievably good is now absolute heaven.
My small one, you were every wish I made. Every toss into the fountain. Every penny from the sidewalk, every star in the sky. You were my 11:23, my November 11th at 11pm. My every hope and dream. You were our wishes at the temple at Penang. Our lit offering in Phuket. Our kiss under the bridge in Paris.
You are every dream and wish we ever made. Every secret hope I ever had.
I hate to go to sleep now, for fear this s all just a dream. That none of it is real - I'd just wake up to find that this perfection we're living right now couldn't possibly be real. I still don't feel like I deserve this happiness that swells constantly now in my chest. (Your daddy knows this, thus our night of all us curled together in one big bed.)
What I do know is he and I love you powerfully. That this apartment is stretching its boundaries to hold our joy and sheer adoration of you. Each moment feels like such a gift and we're treasuring each and every one of them.
And I promise we spend every moment of our lives from this one on making sure you always feel that.
love always, your mama