Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Only Daughter

I piece you together in my mind, knowing that no matter my skill with design, no matter my skill with color and composition - what you will ulitmately be will be far beyond my wildest dreams. You will put my visions to shame.

I see his smile and wonder, will you be so lucky? Or his eyes - or best: his laugh. I see he and I together and sometimes it makes me pause. I can see you. I can see where you'll be coming from and I find myself already feeling blessed. I find myself already hoping and wishing for you.

I take all of our best (and worst) qualities and cannot help but imagine what you will do with such things. WIll you see visions, too? Will you be haunted by images, will you be haunted by songs that need pictures? Will you run run run? Will you have an endless energy, an endless capacity for exploring? How will you take who we are and make it good? How will you mimick us? How will you leave us behind? What long lost relative will be refelcted in you?

You are years from now. Tissue paper sketches from canvas. Lists of word from book. Passing reflections and echoing laughter. But I await your arrival like the robin enjoys the snow; with spring in his heart.

We will both, ultimately, be blood from a Stone. And it is that connection to my family - to the parts of his I will never meet - that strange ability you will have to stretch across generations in your eyes, your hands, your wit, that is one of the things I most look forward to. The thought of it is hard not to dwell on, the magic of it. The gift.

And so, Wylie Venkmen, Jackson Bell, Henry Stone, Samyra Alice . . whomever you choose and come to be . . . know that you were anxiously anticipated. This only daughter shall treasure you for the family you will create, both past and present . . .

'Cause it runs in the family, it's coursing through our veins
It lingers and gets caught in our hearts
Running in the family, it's a little like insane
The trimmings and the trappings of the artist and the art

Blood from a stone, wine from water
I'd die here alone, only daughter
Blood from a stone, wine from water
I'd die here alone, like a lamb to slaughter
-- Jonatha Brook

And, PS - just to be absolutely crystal clear - we're totally not having a kid anytime soon. I just think of it sometimes, and wanted to share my thoughts . . . so no one call child services or start planning baby showers just yet. :)


shannondg said...

mbs-i found your blog through carrie's. you write beautifully...your world is bright with color and alive. be well in nyc--sdg

Jamie said...

You should have a kid! Now! Someone has to go first, I nominate you two. Let's look at the facts:
1. It's name may be Venkman (girl or boy)
2. The two of you are a genetic powerhouse. The kid will come out sarcastically painting pictures of wiccan sports figures.
3. Please? I wanna babysit! (and lose my fear of childbirth)


~m said...

Ha. That's what the hagens are fo rin KS, right? Practice babysitting? And, well, seriously - you guys are in a much better position:

1. You've been together MUCH longer. You've had ample "couple" time.

2. The cost of living where you are is GREATLY less than where we are, thus you are better able to handle the additional cost of said baby.

3. Another benefit for you - so many hagens! AMPLE babysitters FOR YOU!

We could play this game all day. Let's make Carrie go first.

cgilch78 said...

Not a chance, suckas! I am going to win that money if it is the last thing I do!

~m said...


i *miss* you guys!

Jamie said...

Look, until one of you b's breaks down and reproduces, my ovaries are CFB-Closed For Business.

Misty, I miss you too. Maybe to make me feel better you should...