Tuesday, June 27, 2006

More Spice than Sugar

I hardly ever answer my phone, let alone return calls. But when I do finally pick up my phone you can bet I'll be hurt when whomever I call never calls back. I'm fair like that.

I'm horrible at sayng thank you. When I get it out it's clumsy and awkward and probably sounds insincere. Which it isn't - it's heartfelt, but trippingly so. And often, I forget to say thank you for things I should and accolade for things that aren't necessary. I have no gratitude skills, really. (Though I am, extremely, grateful.)

I will eat the last piece of chocolate unapologetically.

I have unbelievably high expectations for the people in my life. I want them to be strong and courageous and commited. I want them to care for themselves as much as I care for them. I have a hard time expressing these things, and when they falter, I have a hard time hiding my disappointment. This often leads to feelings getting hurt and general confusion on all ends.

I'm slow to anger, but when I do I'm even slower to let go. Grudges? Um, hi. We're well aquainted.

I hate being put in the position where I am guilted into doing something I don't want to do. Or when I can see that someone's manipulating the situation to their advatage. It drives me crazy and I will often dig in my heels and fight useless, meaningless battles over such things. Just to not back down.

I will drink the last bit of water, and not refill the jug.

I have friends I haven't talked to in ages. They probably figure we're not friends anymore, and rightfully so. But I think of them on an almost daily basis. I miss them. And still, I have yet to do something about that.

I can't take a compliment. In fact, I'll often argue with whomever gave it.

I live a block and a half from work. I am late, every single day.

But I'm not all evil. I swear. And perhaps I'll make a list of good things eventually. This list, however, was just too easy to ignore putting down. That and I feel like it's good to have written(typed, rather), because, of course - it's all stuff I'm working on. . .


jamie said...

You are not evil...those are the qualities that make you INTERESTING!

K said...

My inability to understand these qualities, and see past them, combined with a staggering amount of insecurity on my part, might have contributed to us falling apart like we did. Definitely not evil, definitely more interesting.

I don't know if I am one of those friends that you ever think about, but I heard "Stay" on the radio and belted out along to it to do you proud!