Friday, June 17, 2011

sweet boy, it's been two months!

I sit here, typing one-handed - which makes this process a bit tedious. But you often want your own space to stretch in, so the fact that today you want nothing more than for me to hold you is something I haven't the heart to squander.

So typing one-handed may be slow-going, but is totally worth it.

I'm not sure where to start, honestly. This past month has been such an adventure - in my head somewhere I knew you would be different, not me or your dad or Maire, but you're own person. Now, with you here it seems my heart is having to catch up to that thought. I am just now able to look at you and see Wylie - who you are now, who you're becoming.

You have a quick temper that flares bright as fireworks and passes just as quickly; though you are unbelievably calm most of the time. The days, the hours, they wash over you with ease. You open your eyes and see everything, and as it passes you either look deadly serious or you get the most adorable Han Solo half-grin on your face. You definitely have a sense of humor, and my guess is you've inherited your dad and my sarcasm, but we shall see.

You've been smiling for a couple weeks now, big giant grins that seem able to just eat up all the air around you. You smile most often at Maire, but from time to time throw a big one my way, or your dad's. You're learning to reach for things, and while you don't always get it right, I can see the intention in your face. You do nothing in a minor way. You are truly our little bear.

Just the other day you were ornery for the first time. Maire was playing on the floor near you and you grabbed her dolly's dress. She said "No! Stop Baby Wylie!" and by god, you reached right out and grabbed it again with absolutely no hesitation... and a GIANT smile on your face. Dear lord, I didn't know whether to laugh out loud or be frightened to death where this mischievous attitude may land us.

And, oh, how I love afternoons like today where you curl up under my chin and just sigh with delight. I coudl never put Maire down as a baby, but you - you will cry if I coddle you too much and I don't' see that changing as we grow together in these coming years. You will insist to be put down and the minute you have room to stretch as you please you will smile and coo and then make sure we haven't gone too far. Sometimes, when your tummy hurts or you're fussy I'll hold you close and walk back and forth across our living room, promising you "I will always hold you too tight, kiss you too much, hug you too long. I am your mommy, you are my boy. I will always love you more." It seems to calm you and make you happier and I can't count now, how many times I have repeated it over and over again. I hope you understand it, or some piece of it's intent stays with you as you grow.

An how you've grown! We took you into the doctor's office for your two month check-up and you've already almost doubled your weight. All the nurses and even the doctor herself commented and were impressed. You might have started out a little small and with some hurdles to overcome, but you've more than proven you can tackle anything. I can't help but put my hand on your belly, or squeeze your little chubby thighs. Even Maire will try to pinch your little fat rolls singing "you're my favorite! to you as your Dad and I yell "BE GENTLE!!!"

Ha. Yes, her violent love hasn't lessened at all. It might have grown, actually. She was sick just last week and burst into tears when I told her she couldn't kiss you. It was torture for her that thankfully only lasted a day. Not being able to shower you with kisses was worse to her than being sick. She adores you and while I know that someday there will be slammed doors and (I have no doubt) punches thrown, seeing you two together now almost breaks my heart with joy.

She looks for you the minute she wakes up and cannot bear to leave you for school in the morning. She runs straight to you when she returns, and she is still the voice you most follow, the face you most lock onto. I never had this, a family of more than three. A child co-conspirator... and watching you two interact, watching you obviously so love each other. It bowls me over. It makes me so grateful you have each other, already.

Oh, and before I forget - you took your first trip this week. And, man, were we impressed (and relieved). It seems you travel as well, if not better, than your sister if that's even possible. So, my little man, getting ready to see the world - your daddy and I plan to show you as much of it as we possibly can.

You've given us so much already, it seems only fair.

Sleep tight, little one. I love you so very much.
your mama

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Everytime I read your blog, it gets my uterus all up in a pinch. Miss you guys!