Thursday, June 24, 2010

dadad's day

I'm late, horribly so. But I have been writing and rewriting this entry now a thousand times a day in my head.

I don't know what words to use, how to express to you...

my extreme gratitude.

She is you. She smirks like you. She loves to make people laugh like you. She cracks herself up endlessly, just like you.

She has your adventurous streak, which may someday kill me.

She has your smarts, your smile.

Your eyes when she's tired.

She is so much you. And yet, so much this small new creature in my midst. Brave and daring. Loving and kind.

I think all the time how grateful I am for her.

I think all the time how grateful I am for you. For her. For me. For us. Our family.

Thank you for  all the mornings you woke her up singing, got her dressed and walked her to school.

All the nights she couldn't' sleep you spent dancing with her 'round our living room carpet.

All the times you carried her when her little legs were tired.

All the pushes on the swings, all the cheers on the slides, all fortresses built with blocks.

Thank you for never tiring of reading "just one mo' book" or eating one "mo' berry."

Thank you for teaching her compassion and patience. For teaching her to try one more time. For encouraging her craziness, her silliness, her self.

Thank you for being the best dadad ever. And I mean it, THE BEST. History of time, all that. When I look at you and her together, when we talk about our hopes for her, when we plan our trips, our evenings, our days, our weekends....

When you promise that yes, some day if she wants she can go to art school, or culinary school or conservatory - if she wants. When you sit watching game after game in silence, despite the great drama on the screen so she doesn't get upset by your being upset. Every thing you do with her, every time you speak of her ... the love is so big, so real it feels palpable in the air.

I don't know how to tell you how big this is. How good you are at this. How wonderfully you just leapt forward from that very first moment she joined us.

All I know is that I love you now even more, and I never thought that was possible.

All I know is she loves you "heaps and heaps."

All I know is you deserve every day to be Fathers' Day. Because every day you are wonderfully, fantastically, amazingly a father. A daddy.

The best.

Love you, Dadad Sam

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