Thursday, October 06, 2005

A letter to Jamie

This is what I'm imagining - I'm imagining standing in kind of chilly autumn air, behind a big yellow school bus listening to Ryan play whatever beautiful music before the ceremony - trying to be quiet and joking about which one of us may very well trip on our way down the hill. I imagine fixing little Sarah's wings, and trying to pick out your jack in the field. I imagine lots of fire (ha!) and smiling and laughing. I imagine walking down the leaf-strewn, latern-lit aisle with my dad; you and Sarah and Jan and Carrie and Scott and everyone I love most standing there, next to Sam. Waiting right there at the end.

I picture posing (ever so briefly) for photos beforehand, laughing and joking and having a blast - and perhaps driving whomever's job it is to corral us crazy. I imagine looking at those pictures someday, all of you dressed as beautiful and unique as you are and counting myself blessed that these women are in my life.

And yes, the designer in me DOES have visions - but they're simple really. Orange pumpkins and flames. A brilliant sunset; a crowd of flickering candles on the ground and swashes of stars in the sky during our vows. You and the bridesmaids in beautiful black dresses with brilliant, *wild* bouquets. Me in a white (and I still am getting used to this part) long beautiful dress, hair in a ponytail with a large orange lily . . .even a veil, but a short sassy one. A bouquet like yours, but white with feathers and berries sticking out all crazy-like.

But all the visuals? They center around one thing - looking over at you in one off-moment and having both of us smile - the kind of smile that comes when you want to wrap up the moment in the most precious silk and keep it uncreased and clear forever. The kind of smile that says I feel beautiful, this is beautiful - I'm so glad we're all here, together.

That's the most important part of my vision.

That and the hundreds of pumpkins.

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