My Arcadia: October 2008

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Well, love, three years and a day.Our handfasting has run its course. Though it matters not. My hand, my heart, my soul are yours. Always.

Mickey's Not So Very Scary

So there we are - Maire's first trip to Disney World. We dressed up as Cruella DeVille, Jasper and Lucky. Maire had a little hood with ears - but in the rush of the camera man's directions we forgot to put it on.

Ah, well. She's adorable anyhow. We'll have more pictures soon - when I have the time to sit and download them from our camera ...

The past weekend was tiring, exhausting, stressful . . . and wonderful. Two of my bestest friends were there with their little ones and it was unbelievably fantastic to have our families running around and laughing together. Not to mention having them right there to reaffirm a lot of the decisions I've made as a mom - and of course coo over my new, precious babe.

I'll write more soon, but that precious babe is sleeping in (thank god, she was thrashed yesterday - I wasn't the only one who found this weekend exhausting) and I have clothes to unpack and put away.

But trust me - the photos to come are PRICELESS.

:)

Thursday, October 23, 2008

More Photos!

We've been really slack on uploading photos lately, I know. And now my phone is mysteriously not mobile posting here, so we've been forced to actually download real photos - so here we are ...

I think my fave pictures are the ones of Sam and Maire sleeping together.

I mean really, does it get sweeter than this dad and his sweetums sleeping in?

The kitten likes to take naps with Maire, too.

I'm convinced her butt is filled with bean.

*sigh*
And, finally, to prove she actually is awake some of the time, I give you the sweetest smile in the world.

Oh, dear lord, I love her so.

P.S. Aunt Jasmin - she loves her giraffe!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

daddy's fingers are YUM!

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

sweet afternoon

Sometimes you just have to say all the chores can just go to hell. Its easy,actually, especially now that she hugs me back.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Me as a Mom

People tell you a million things when you're about to become a mom. There's the weird stuff, all the random advice on how to raise your child ... and the normal stuff - how much you'll love her, how your life will change, how you wont' get any sleep, blah blah blah.

I say, take it all with a grain of salt. Some of it will be completely bogus, some laughable, and some amazingly true - but only once you're in the middle of the madness.
For example, sure, I do love Samaire more than I can put into words. I love Sam even more now (I honestly didn't believe that was possible). And my life has changed. And yet, well, honestly - it's exactly the same. Just better is all. We still go out: to dinners, parties, Mets games. We still plan trips overseas. We still act like morons in public.

One thing that has changed - one thing I wasn't prepared for . . . how primal this would all be for me. Not the labor or the birth - but the being a mom part. It's absolutely, positively a very cellular experience for me. It's a tightening in my chest, a swelling of my heart, an energy that runs from her to me that is absolutely undeniable.

When she cries it really does hurt me and i would move mountains to hold her, to comfort her. When she smiles my whole world lights up. I can go without just about anything as long as she is okay.

I have a hard time handing her over to anyone but Sam. I have a need to keep her close by, with me. Near me. I can't explain it. I want her in my arms constantly and - not surprisingly to anyone, I'm sure - she's pretty much there 24/7.

Maybe this will change when she gets older. Maybe this invisible thread that seems to run between us will eventually fade, but for now I'm relishing it. I'm listening to that piece of me that tells me I need her. That she needs me.

I'm honoring it. It feels completely right. It feels natural. It's the kind of mom I am right now, and I'm okay with it.

Friday, October 10, 2008

this sweet love o' mine

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Two Months

How is that possible? How can two months have already gone by?

Two months ago right now, I was disappointed thinking you'd just barely miss the 080808 birthday; but you hustled right on out to join us. You made it with plenty of time to spare. I knew you were extraordinary - and wanted so badly for you to have an extraordinary day all your own ... and you got it - not from any action on my part - but all on your own.

I have a feeling that's how you'll live your life. On your own terms.

You're so small, and yet - I can see that determination, that will inside you. You showed it today when you got your first shots at the doctor's office. At first, you wailed the saddest cry I've ever heard from you. It was so obviously your "I'm hurt" cry it brought tears to my eyes. But the next moment you got real quiet, set your little jaw and looked straight at the doctor - a look that was all "F*#! you! That all you got?!"

You are for sure our daughter. We were beamingly proud.

Your daddy and I love you something crazy. I don't know how we got so lucky as to have you pick us as your parents (I'd like to think Alice and Faris put in a good word for us.)

These past two months have been the most wonderful of my life. I always wanted to do something meaningful with my life - and I've searched long and hard to figure out what that would be.

Turns out, it was you - though the more I think about it, I might be your meaningful thing. You've already taught me so very much.

Love you, little hedgehog.
Mama